The other day I was standing in a supermarket check out line in Berkeley, California, with some friends I am visiting for spring break. I saw a copy of Soap Opera Digest, and I picked it up and flipped to the As The World Turns content. I gasped, I cried out “[elided] is related to [redacted]?? [elided2] is leaving?!? What about [plot line]!”
I was indistinguishable from a soaps fan. Does that make me a soaps fan? I think it might. Of course I had to start defending soaps to this set of friends, but it was easy this time, the conversation quickly shifted to whether we were studying telenovellas, and what theories I could offer about why soaps are popular. I knew that by picking up that magazine, and commenting on it aloud, I was outing myself as a soaps viewer. I knew what social stigma could be attached to me for doing this. Oh, I could hide behind some academic pretense, I could say “I’m not a fan, I just study it”, but I don’t need to. I enjoy “As The World Turns”, and I am not ashamed of it. Let people judge me as they will. (Of course, I am a member of some stigmatized subcultures, and I don’t care very much how mainstream society judges me, so this is perhaps not a very significant statement coming from me.)
I was afraid this would happen. Before this class started, I warned my friends that I might come out of this class a soaps fan and keep watching ATWT. Mostly they made jokes, though my best friend confided that she feared she would be a soap addict if she is ever a stay-at-home mother. I knew that I was “at risk”, because soaps are full of things I love! I love melodrama and love triangles, I love “networks of relationships” and “domestic concerns”, two of the conventions of daytime television identified by Harrington and Bielby as particularly feminine. To out myself further, this time as a huge geek, one could have predicted my potential predilection towards soaps from the live action roleplaying games I have written, which have featured, among many other things:
* Sham marriages to hide homosexuality
* Custody battles followed by parental kidnapping followed by the child being told one parent was dead, only to have them show up years later
* Love triangles
* Miserable marriages
* Murder that could perhaps be blamed on miserable marriages
* Severely dysfunctional homes
* Lies, Lies, Lies
* Adultery
* Seduction as part of complicated plots
Often my cowriters have been responsible for the “big plots”, the ones that involve saving/destroying/controlling the world, while I have been more focused on the “personal plots”, the “rich inner life”, the “interior world” as Harrington and Bielby quote Allen 1985. (Now you should quote me and cite everyone, it’ll be great.) I am well-known in my circles for writing complicated romantic and family angst.
I have been collecting ideas from ATWT with the idea of writing a parody LARP based off of soaps, but as I think about it, would it really be that different from what I already write? I would be doing what soaps already do, taking all the interesting things that happen in real life and just… upping the concentration.
I would love to get some of my friends hooked on ATWT, though it seems unlikely. I love gossip, and as one of our readings pointed out, gossiping about fictional characters allows one to indulge in the pleasures of gossip without the danger of hurting people’s feelings. I love ‘gossiping’ about fictional characters, about who Kate should be with on “Lost”, or the soaps-level-ridiculous angst on Battlestar Gallatica, or every delicious second of “Friday Night Lights”, and everything else that happens on the shows my friends watch. ATWT provides so much more content to obsess over, but I know it would be hard to get my friends into it. For one, it’s a lot of hours of television, and my friends and I are very busy. I suspect if I had taken this class in the fall, there is a good chance I would have fallen out of watching ATWT during the chaos of spring term. As it is, I probably will have time to spend watching it during the summer, and come fall term I suspect I will be addicted enough to make time during term. Damn you, Sam Ford! I have enough fandoms as it is!
To be accurate, I don’t think I will get heavily involved with ATWT fandom, just watching the show. This is not because I have anything against fandom: fandom was important part of my adolescence, and I love and respect fandom. The primary issue, I think, is time and effort. It is easier to just discuss shows with my friends who watch them than to seek out an online fandom– I know because I have done it. In the last few months, I actively sought out new livejournal friends who were fans of “Torchwood”, the BBC Doctor Who spin-off. My needs were not complex: I just wanted some fellow fangirls to swoon and squee and babble with. As it turns out, I got one of my housemates seriously addicted and started (mostly) weekly showings at my house, but I still added several personal livejournals and communities to my friends’ list, and have become a part of Torchwood fandom.
I have been sitting here for awhile trying to organize my thoughts on my other reasons for not seeing myself as part of ATWT fandom, and I find myself full of doubt about what my real reasons are. To resolve this doubt, I am going to try an experiment: I am going to investigate ATWT fandom on livejournal, as best I can while trying to not spoil myself. (Yes, this would all be much easier if I didn’t mind spoilers, but I seem to have decided i don’t like spoilers for ATWT. I might try skipping the weekly showing and instead staying up to date by watching the show every day so I can stay current with discussion, if Sam is okay with that.) Hopefully, this will help me see if my reasons are specific to the media domain community or not. I shall report back! For reference, I am watching the following livejournal communities: addictedtoatwt.livejournal.com, cbssoapfun.livejournal.com, van_daily.livejournal.com, and luke_noah.livejournal.com